20 Red Flags In A Relationship

Published by queenedithu on

20 Red Flags In A Relationship

There are some warning signs that might appear early on in a relationship that, if ignored, lead to the termination of the partnership.

For those who have a tendency to fall head over heels in love, it’s a good idea to be aware of these warning signs so you don’t spend time with people who aren’t right for you. You can be wasting months (or years) of your dating life on the incorrect person if you don’t know what to look for.

According to Dr Christie Kederian, a relationship expert and licensed family and marriage therapist, “a relationship red flag is something that is considered a deal breaker or a non-negotiable for a person, that doesn’t necessarily have to do with their individual preferences, but more so with the character, behaviour, and emotional maturity and availability in the relationship.”

I wish I had been able to see this list when I was a teenager since I have experienced a lot of unsatisfying relationships and have consciously spent years of my life in unsuitable relationships.

So read on if you want to locate your significant other even faster while also saving yourself time, heartache, and energy and having a handy checklist to refer to. The future? Even some of your own behaviours may be included on this list.

Here are 20 warning signs to look out for in your close relationships:

1. They give you negative self-esteem.

Simply said, you should date someone who treats you like a queen. If your significant other wants you to change—for example, by leaving your friends or dressing differently—that may be a clue they don’t really like you for who you are and that you deserve someone far better. It’s also time to end a relationship if your partner continuously criticizes you or acts in a way that makes you doubt your own value. A healthy relationship will uplift you and leave you feeling positive instead of depressing you.

“Anytime someone minimizes your accomplishments, lowers your self-esteem, or makes you feel bad about yourself, it can definitely be a red flag for their empathy and love for you, and also for themselves,” Dr. Kederian explains. When someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, they frequently make other people feel inferior to them.

2. They Don’t Appear To Be Happy With You

These types of behaviours reveal a lack of pride in being with you, whether they hold back on introducing you to their friends, keep you a secret from their family, or avoid posting any evidence of you on social media. Another potential red sign is if they are ashamed of their family or friends.

Every relationship I’ve ever been in where I was madly in love with my spouse resulted in me chatting nonstop about them. They were the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I wanted to brag about them to everyone.

Sure, your partner could take a little while to warm up, but if you get the impression that they’re embarrassed by you, it could be a warning sign.

3. They don’t take your advice.

Why date if your significant other never listens to you when you speak to them? This may indicate that they lack the compassion or emotional maturity necessary to treat you with the kind of love you deserve in a relationship and to be a partner who can fulfil your needs.

They don’t have to remember every detail of your chats, but they should put their phones down, pay attention, and provide thoughtful feedback. That is especially true if you’re anxious or angry. Certainly, if you discuss the never-ending problems, their eyes may begin to glaze away. Drama, drama, but don’t worry, anyone worth your time should be really interested in you and your life.

4. Sexuality Is Used As A Tool

A mutually beneficial action that makes both people feel appreciated is sexual closeness.

You can be sure that this is a huge red flag if they ever use sex (either as a reward or withholding it as a punishment) as a tool to accomplish what they want. This behavior is pure and straightforward manipulation.

We can have sex tonight if you make dinner. HIGH FLAG!

You may need to have a discussion about what would make it more gratifying for them if they use it as leverage because they believe it doesn’t benefit them as much as it does you. Or, you know, just call it quits.

5. They oppose your objectives.

Perhaps when you ask them to practice flashcards for your big test, they decline. Or perhaps you mention your grand aspirations of starting your own business one day, and they laugh you off as though they don’t think you’re capable. That certainly doesn’t feel nice. Whoever you date should have faith in you and be supportive of your goals. Your partner may be insecure about their future if they are constantly criticizing your aspirations, but that is no excuse for them to put you down.

It’s crucial to consider why you entered the relationship in the first place because if you don’t feel like you have anything to gain from it, it probably isn’t the perfect fit.

6. They make no effort to maintain the relationship.

It doesn’t feel good to be in a one-sided relationship, even though you shouldn’t necessarily be keeping track of relationship reciprocity (see #3).

It is a lose-lose situation if one person isn’t as invested in the relationship as the other. Spend less time searching and have the guts to meet someone who will prioritize you in their life.

7. It’s all about them in their relationship.

When it’s convenient for their schedule, you hang out at your significant other’s house and always order pizza because it’s their favorite dish. It’s not acceptable if they never consider your interests, preferences, or other considerations. Compromise, both on major and minor issues, is the foundation of all relationships.

Relationships, according to Dr. Freitag, are about an equal exchange. “Of course, depending on your circumstances in life, there will be ups and downs in that.”

8. They Cannot Apologize

It is natural in any relationship that both of you will make mistakes and need to express regret.

You may need to reassess your relationship if your partner is unable to accept responsibility for any wrongdoings.

You may learn more about how to apologize effectively here. An inability to apologize suggests an overly fragile ego.

9. They don’t make an effort to get along with your family or friends.

Even while they shouldn’t be your best friends, your partner should make a concerted effort to get along with the individuals who matter to you. Additionally, they ought to desire to introduce you to their friends and relatives. “Someone who is dedicated to a relationship and cares about you would demonstrate this by their behaviour toward those who are significant to you. Taking care of yourself extends to taking care of others.

10. Their Core Values Differ From Yours

While your partner’s peculiarities can first appeal to you, it will be your similarities that will make your relationship strong over time.

Early on in a relationship, you need to give that issue your whole attention if your spouse and you have fundamentally different views on issues like self-improvement, finances, and whether or not to have children.

11. They cheat on you.

Being cheated on is a very subjective experience, and various individuals have different ideas of what it means and what cheating is. However, according to Dr. Montgomery, “any type of treachery or dishonesty is a violation in the partnership.”

Unless you have an open relationship, you are in an agreement to remain faithful to one another when you get into a partnership. Breaking the conditions of that agreement is essentially breaking the trust. It’s more about how it makes you feel in the relationship than it is about the conduct, which increases uneasiness and mistrust.

12. They try to make you feel guilty so that you spend all of your time with them.

It will be quite challenging for your partner to allow you any space in the relationship if they have low self-esteem and problem with boundaries.

In an intimate relationship, it is unhealthy for two people to merge into one. You always desire a little autonomy, independence, and distance between you. And if your spouse won’t offer you that, that’s a huge warning sign.

13. They never respond quickly to your texts, despite the fact that you always do.

Every now and then, it’s okay if your SO ignores your text for a few hours. Consider why you texted them back immediately soon if they infrequently write back on time and occasionally don’t at all. just because you get butterflies when you chat to them? mostly because you two are having a great conversation? since you’re courteous. And why don’t they do the same for them? Tell them if their texting errors concern you. You don’t need that in your life if they don’t understand they’re taking so long or if they don’t feel the same way about you.

14. Their goal is to micromanage your life.

It’s one thing to help someone grow, but if your partner tries to run every aspect of your life, it undermines your autonomy and self-worth. Whether people concur with your judgments or not, you need to be trusted to make them.

15. They constantly make the threat to end things with you.

This kind of behaviour is called emotional manipulation. Dr. Freitag says, “Breaking up triggers a lot of pretty intense emotions in people. “And it’s difficult to sense any kind of stability or security in the relationship if [your partner] is using that as a control technique,” says the author.

You should feel safe in your relationship and at ease around your significant other, not continually treading carefully.

16. They never set up dates.

We’re not saying that every time you go out with your lover, you need to go on lavish dates. A clue that a couple isn’t ready to commit is if they never want to go out in public together, whether it’s to eat burgers, watch a movie, or take a stroll. They might not be paying attention to you, or they might choose a casual relationship over a committed one. Whatever it is, you deserve someone who wants to show you off because you are worth more than that.

17. Your interests are not respected by them.

You can be gently teased for your love of the Kardashians without making you feel foolish for being interested in what Kim, Kourt, and Khloé are up to. Respect is the difference, by the way. Your significant other doesn’t have to share all of your interests, but they also shouldn’t make you feel guilty for doing so.

If they cannot accept a difference of opinion, this is another warning sign.
We can differ, but it doesn’t mean there needs to be a big argument, she says. “They can be respectful even if you guys have different viewpoints on topics.”

18. Your closest family and friends don’t like them.

Probably more than anybody else in the world, your family and friends are the ones who know you best (even more than you know yourself).

It’s a major warning sign if most of your loved ones don’t get along with your significant other. If your partner doesn’t get along with them, it means that there are aspects of them that don’t get along with aspects of you. Your personality overlaps with that of your loved ones.

19. They never discuss the future.

While it’s crucial to enjoy the moment, you also want to know if your partner is committed to working for a shared future. There is a good likelihood they are not necessarily picturing you in their future if they don’t discuss it with you now. Most individuals want their relationships to last forever when they are in them.

Although it’s possible, this does not necessarily imply that you will be partners for the next 30 years. To show that your partner values your relationship as much as you do, it’s important to know that they want to make arrangements for the holidays or for next summer.

20. They maintain secrecy.

This is a warning sign that may not be immediately apparent, but if they frequently omit minor details here and there, it may be cause for concern. It could be a red indicator, in terms of their willingness to be candid and be open about when there are concerns.” It’s crucial to know that your partner is being truthful and direct with you when they talk to you about their lives, whether it’s about work, education, or other elements.

Is the person you’re dating right for you?

Although none of these are definite rules, you may want to reevaluate your compatibility for a long-term relationship if you notice some of these traits in your spouse strongly.

And there’s a good reason if you find yourself reading this post very carefully. Maybe there’s something amiss in your current relationship that made you want to read this post. If you know that your relationship isn’t fulfilling your requirements, either lean into talking about your worries with your spouse and negotiating your way out, or end it.

How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship?

Although there isn’t a simple solution to this, it’s crucial to acknowledge your sentiments and emotions. “How do you feel about your relationship right now? Of course, you’ll have bad days and bad moments, but how do you feel when things are going well and smoothly in your relationship?

Your relationships should bring you joy, happiness, and contentment. “ It should probably cease if you don’t associate the relationship with as much good.

If your partner has ignored your concerns or been questioned about their red flag conduct without changing (or making an effort to change), it may be time to end the relationship.


Nobody is perfect, but there is someone out there for you (multiple people in fact) that will make you your absolute favourite version of yourself.

Don’t settle with someone that feels good enough. As the country song goes “I don’t want a man I can live with, I want a man I can’t live without.”

So find someone that makes your heart sing. Find a partner that makes your heart burst with pride and love more days than not. Find that person and then fight like hell to keep each other happy.

Categories: Dating


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Relationship and Marriage